Take me out to the ballgame...

Cullens 7, Nomads 6
By C.R. Jack

FORKS (MS) -- At age 94, Emmett Cullen started the game feeling better than he had in years; eager to be back on the field, defending the Cullen name. However, after multiple missed opportunities in the outfield, including a high fly ball that got away while he was looking at his cell phone and numerous collisions with his brother Jasper Hale, as well as one unsuspecting tree branch, Emmett may have been singing a different tune up until the final inning.
But luckily for his team, his lovely wife Rosalie, brought redemption to her family by scoring the winning run by knocking one out of the park.
"There'll be no homerun for you tonight, Monkey-Man..." Said Rosalie, after Emmett's cell phone debacle, Ouch, Emmett. That's gotta hurt!

After repeated off-kilter pitches, whizzed by Jasper Hale, the umpire walked Hale to first base, much to the chagrin of the Nomad's pitcher, Zafrina Amazon. And Hale didn't let that slide lightly... He MOONWALKED all the way from home plate to first. Ow... he's bad, you know it...

Pitching both innings for the first family, matriarch Esme Cullen, was simply on fire with her lightning-quick fastball. The Nomads could hardly see it coming down the line. Her husband, Carlisle, refereed the game, asking at the onset for both teams to keep it friendly. Let's just say, perhaps the players had an alternative definition of the term friendly.

Called out of the game early in the top of the first inning, Edward Cullen shot off the field to help find his daughter Renesmee's lost Chihuahua, Cookie. But thanks to quick thinking on the part of his brothers, Cullen didn't miss a moment of the action when his wife, Bella, took on Charlotte Barrera of the Nomads in a down and dirty scuffle. Jasper and Emmett recorded video of the fight, though no one's certain if that footage will ever be available outside of inner circles. One witness said there may have been some hair-pulling but the skirmish ended abruptly with Bella Cullen straddling Charlotte, pinning her arms and kissing her on the nose. Now isn't that a mental picture, folks? One for the scrapbook.

Unofficial cheerleaders, Pauline, Anjelika and Angela Weber, kept spirits high, despite the rain and occasional growls from Demetri Volturi. Lightning and thunder kept the teams in play for a few hours but soon after the game ended, the skies cleared a bit and mud wrestling ensued. Perfect timing. And Alice Cullen, official weather moderator for the first family, is calling for rain, showers, and the perfect storm for another game in about two weeks.

Sounds like some of the players may be free agents come August 26 when the next game of the season will be played. Team rosters will be posted soon, according to Carlisle Cullen, makeshift manager for this Olympic League.

And now for a few words from Randall Nomad, spokesperson for his team.



Come on now, you have Emmett out there playing with his phone and tripping over his own two feet, Edward leaves to go help Nessie find Cookie. And Bella and Esme could barely hit the ball!!! Of course, we were robbed!! We should have had that game. And another thing, what’s up with the cheers!!! Who could hear themselves thinking with that racket going on!!! Never fear, the Nomads/Dem will avenge this loss and have a major comeback win! We are psyched and ready!!! Bring it on!!